Another problem I see is that your character killed an Immortal, which is impossible, because
1. Immortals cannot die
2. You need to be dead to even have a chance to see the devil himself.

Name: shadow fang
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Special Powers:Shadow making,time travel
Who/what are you: werewolf king and shadow lord
Personality: Mysterious,insane,has no heart
Biography: a boy that had a werewolf father and a human mother when the boy was 12 he was sent to the future so he could live but now he cant age but he has mastered time travel
Other:he looks 12 but hes older
has a sword made of darkness

It's better, so i'll accept it.

(Ugh, that took forever to make! XD)

(We should RP...)

(We should. =P)
Rima went to the door of the restaurant.
"If you teleport out of me, then we can get some food here." Rima said.

"I BACK!" Shimi yelled

Rima jumped, startled.
"Hey! You startled me!" Rima said, waving her fist in the air.

"Ack!" Blue said, falling into the now cooled Cocoa in Rima's stomach

"Sorry, I got caught up with talking to Darkrai" Shimi said and rubbed the back of her head

"Well, if Blue teleports out of me, then we can all have some food at this fancy restaurant." Rima suggested.

"But I don't wanna!" Blue says sadly

"If you come out, I'll eat you" Shimi said

Blue teleported out looking like a normal strawberry

"But... we have to eat first" Shimi said