Option 1, His mustache works for cleaning it afterwards :p

Destruction Magic, or Restoration Magic?

(I burst out laughing when I read that. xD My mom yelled at meh. D: )
Restoration.
Fish or chicken? (As in to eat.)

Chicken, I dislike eating fish.

Aisian Carp, or Magikarp? :p

(I only eat baked fish. :P The only kind of chicken I won't eat is robotic. xD I'm sorry. xD I'm sorry. IT was the perfect opportunity for a reference. xD Actually, I'm not sorry. xD)
Asian Karp. (Never had it, but I'd want the Magikarp as a pet. >V<
Die of heat, or freeze to death?

(They're apparently friggen everywhere in some parts of the US, All you need is an electric shock in the water and they jump out XD)

Option 1, Canadians are next to immune to the cold :l

Die of disease, or die of splatting against the ground from a high area and having 6000lbs of stuff fall ontop of you afterwards?

2. xD Sounds funnier.
Die from Wario falling on you, or die from 'Buttnik falling on you?

Hmmmm.... Lemme think about tha-

Tails: SONIC ITS AN EMERGENCY!!!
Sonic: WHAT TAILS WHAT!?
Tails: Eggman just got fatter!
Sonic: Emergency? That's not an emergency.... *'Buttnik falls on me*
Obviously 2 XD

Have your eyes slowly and painfully be gauged out with a spoon, Or look at 'Buttnik's mom?

For how long? xD
2, if it wasn't for very long. xD *glances for half a second*
Okay I win.
Force feed 'Buttnik tacos, or force feed a Furby tacos?

Option 1. It isn't Nightmare Fuel. :l

Stare at 'Buttnik's mom for 9 days, Or have your eyes gauged out with a spoon (In the Metal Gear Solid series, Naked Snake[Or "Big Boss"] actually had one of his eyes gauged out)

(Oh eww.)
2. DX
Have to stare at 'Buttniks mom permanently without being able to do anything about it (No committing suicide, gouging out your eyeballs, killing her, etc) or touch a Furby?

(MGS is a very bloody and gruesome game. Sad thing is, I can Mimic Snake XD PERFECTLY XD)Option 2. With gloves on :p

Be stuck with Naked Snake, or Solid Snake? (Snake's in Brawl too btw)

Uhm. IDK who either are, but I'm just gonna say two. xD
Spend all week watching your fave TV show, or watching your sibling's (or best friend's, if you don't have any siblings) favorite cartoon?

(Well, Both are pretty much perverted, Though I think Naked Snake's more perverted out of the Snakes)

Option 1. :p

Eat a car, or be stuck with 'Buttnik's mother being glued to your back?

Eat a car. 0_0
Eat a giant candy bar in one sitting, or eat an even bigger one in one sitting?

Eat a even BIGGER CANDY BAR IN ONE SITTING! XD

Opera Knishes( or Potato Knishes(