The bed couldn't handle your weight and it broke and you fell off it and broke your back.
I went for a party.

you went to the wrong party , the geeks party and you got mad and died lol
I had a new pet dog

The dog got angry it bit your feet and ran away.
I played football.

you got an injury.
i am now having the strongest pokemon on creed.

Epul came and destroyed your dream of having it.

I finished the last day of school

but because you have failing grade, you are forced to take summer classes :P
the person above gave me all of his pokes on his main and storage account :P

And then you woke up.

I successfully did a backflip over my house.

yeah, you have succeed back flipping, but you didn't noticed that a nail submerged in your foot because you got a diabetes, it is one complication when you got diabetes.
i got a guitar from slash of the band Guns 'n Roses.

You were so into the moment that you smashed the guitar like a rock star and then learned you are a loser for doing so. :P

I was drafted into the NFL.

You got drafted to the Browns, who later fired you.

I got a car.

There is a bomb attached to the car and it burst, you died.

Bill Gates gave me 99 percent shares of microsoft.

The next day bill gates sold Microsoft for 1$.
I got a bike.

unfortunately, you got an accident, you are now betting with your life, 50/50 hahaha!

I have been sent by Da Man a RainbowReshiram.

The RainbowReshiram turned out to be a magikarp that was nicknamed RainbowReshiram.

My bird pooped on your head.

I ate the bird.
I got more candy. xD